Man Who Quit Job to Be Stay-at-Home Dad Shares Reality of New Life

Nowadays, child care has become a precious commodity for many parents, and while some can afford this luxury, other parents, like Joey Foo have been forced to sacrifice their jobs to stay at home.

Foo, from Florida, made the unconventional decision to become a stay-at-home dad when his second daughter Ariana, now 3 years old, was born. His wife Samantha, 32, has always been the breadwinner as an ultrasound sonographer so leaving his job at Costco was the most feasible option.

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"It didn't make sense for me to work as my paycheck wouldn't cover child care," Foo, 35, told Newsweek.

Parents across the nation have long been burdened with the cost of child care. According to last year's Cost of Care report from Care.com, the average weekly day care cost has increased from $284 in 2022 to $321 per week in 2023.

At the time, the couple's eldest daughter Eliana, now 6 years old, was in day care that cost over $250 per week.

"It was hard enough paying for her," Foo said. "So when Samantha finished maternity leave, I suggested staying home and she supported my decision. I have always made less money than my wife, ever since we met in 2010."

Over the past 50 years, women's financial contributions to married couples in the United States have increased steadily. However, women like Samantha are still in the minority as only 16 percent of wives are the sole financial providers, according to a 2023 Pew Research Center study.

The survey of 5,152 U.S. adults also found that over 55 percent of men in opposite-sex couples earn more than their wives, which is one of the reasons why women usually end up quitting their jobs to stay at home with their children.

Men who are homemakers are relatively rare, comprising only 18 percent of all parents, as noted by a Pew Research Centre analysis in 2023. Foo, who recognized the scarcity of men in this role early in his experience, described it as the toughest aspect of being a stay-at-home dad.

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"I've always been a natural caretaker who would do traditional homebody things like chores and changing diapers," he said. "So, not much changed when I became a stay-at-home dad, I was just with the children more. The hardest part at the start was the isolation from adults. I remember feeling isolated as the only man. Moms would gather together and it was hard to connect in a world filled with stat-home-moms."

This feeling led Foo to set up a TikTok page called @joey.foo to connect with other people and men who are in the same position. Since 2021, he has amassed 1.4 million followers and his cooking, cleaning and family life content regularly goes viral.

"The hard part was making mom friends, so I used TikTok as a stay-at-home parent outlet," he said.

Now a proud dad-of-three, Foo often films with their 7-month-old baby Joey, strapped to his chest.

On March 2, Foo racked up 8.9 million views on a video captioned: "Speed cleaning while everyone is asleep."

He can be seen cleaning the house from top to bottom while sharing random stories with his followers.

One TikTok user commented: "I'm impressed that he got everything done in an hour and a half. I'd still be cleaning at midnight."

"This would take my wife like a day to finish but for men like 2 hours," another user added.

Despite receiving overwhelming support, he has also faced criticism for his lifestyle. Newsweek reported last month that Generation Z disapproves of stay-at-home dads.

A survey by Redfield & Wilton Strategies for Newsweek asked 1,500 U.S. adults, "Do you think having a stay-at-home father is better, worse, or just as good for a child as having a stay-at-home mother?" Among Gen Z participants aged 18 to 26, 21 percent believed it was "worse."

"Some people don't agree and have made up a narrative that I am forcing my wife to work, but it was her decision," Foo said. "Some people say that she was born to be the one taking care of children and I am supposed to be the provider. I support what people believe but I also support what makes people happy."

Another stay-at-home dad named Peter Gerber previously told Newsweek: "The concept of 'stay at home dad' is still considered to be such a new concept to people. For me, it's not necessarily about changing gender norms, but being an active member in your child's life."

This is echoed by Foo, who explained he couldn't "fathom" being away from his children.

"My relationship with my children is great and other dads probably won't experience the things I do," Food said. "But I do respect that most men are working and providing for their family. My priority as their father is to set an example and show them how they should be treated in relationships and friendships. I do this by taking care of their mom when she gets home from and showing them how much I love her."

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