Mom Goes Viral Asking 'Are We Strict?' and Lists the 5 Rules Her Teens Hate

Jeanette Tapley, 38, has racked up more than 9.5 million views on TikTok after revealing the five rules her teenagers must abide by while living under her roof.

Tapley told Newsweek: "Our kids Ezekiel, 17, Titus, 15, and Zoe think we are 'strict.'" Prompted by her children's views, she posted the rules on TikTok under her username @jeanettetapley, and asked, "Are we strict parents?!" in the caption. So far, the video highlighting the below rules has amassed over 949,000 likes since April 30.

Strict parents
Two screenshots from the viral video showing Jeanette Tapley laying out her five rules. She told Newsweek that she wanted to ask internet users if she is strict. Jeanette Tapley/TikTok/@jeanettetapley
  1. Phones must be charged downstairs.
  2. No devices such as TVs, laptops, or cellphones are allowed in bedrooms.
  3. One blanket per person.
  4. Screen time is limited.
  5. Discuss their plans before making them.

"I think the screen time rule is the most disliked," said Tapley, a podcast editor and producer. She added that they are allowed 90 minutes on each app to prevent "mindless scrolling," and they must charge their phone in a communal place for the same reason.

Tapley said: "The kids just hate having to request more time mid-scroll!"

During the clip, she says that they cannot snuggle up next to their boyfriend or girlfriend under the same blanket.

Tapley concludes the video by saying, "I don't think that we are that strict," and adds that she grew up with "stricter parents."

A 2022 YouGov poll says about 38 percent of 1,000 Americans feel their parents were stricter than average during their childhood, while 36 percent believe their parents' strictness was average.

Only 25 percent of parents whose children are under 18 say they are somewhat or much more lenient compared to other parents of children the same age as theirs. Thirty-six percent say they are somewhat or much stricter.

"Honestly, we are really fun parents. We are younger than a lot of our kids' parents so we can chat about culture in a fun way," Tapley said. "We have boundaries like this to protect them, like no TVs in their room because we want them to sleep!

"Teens need sleep! That doesn't mean they don't get to game until midnight some weekends," Tapley added.

"We have rules, but we are also open to discussing things. This little video has made us sound like Mother Gothel in Rapunzel, which is so far from the truth.

"We treat them like mini-adults; we have great conversations and solid boundaries!" Tapley said.

What Did the Expert Say?

Ana Aznar, PhD
A headshot of Ana Aznar, a parenting expert who spoke to Newsweek about the viral video. Provided by Ana Aznar

Newsweek discussed the video with Ana Aznar, a child psychologist and founder of REC Parenting, an online platform supporting parents and caregivers.

Aznar said: "Disagreements between parents and children about rules are very common, especially as children become teenagers and they are asserting their independence.

"Frequently, teens consider their parents to be much stricter than parents consider themselves to be. This may pose an issue because the more unfair teens consider the rules to be, the less likely they are to internalize them and follow them.

"Even if your children are not on board, take the time to explain why these rules are important to you," Aznar said. "They may not agree with you, but they are more likely to follow the rules if they understand your reasoning. The classical 'because I say so!' doesn't sit well with teenagers."

TikTok Reacts

At the time of writing, Tapley's video has over 74,000 comments, and there seems to be a divide.

Tapley told Newsweek: "The comments are flooded with teens, and that's funny to me; they have some strong opinions. We have had some funny conversations about what people are saying, but, overall, my kids love us, they respect us, and I don't think any of them are running away anytime soon!"

One comment with over 295,000 likes read: "As a teen, strict parents make sneaky kids."

"Yes you're strict and I'm totally taking some tips for when my kids are older," wrote another user.

A third commenter posted: "I mean you are strict but I mean It could be worse."

If you have a family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

Uncommon Knowledge

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

About the writer


Lucy Notarantonio is Newsweek's Senior Lifestyle and Trends Reporter, based in Birmingham, UK. Her focus is trending stories and human ... Read more

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