Woman Shares Results of 'Picking and Choosing' Her Battles With Toddler

A video of a Wisconsin mom feeding her son has gone viral on TikTok but it isn't as simple as it seems.

Racking up 1.8 million views, Carrie Fisher, 34, (@ceseibsfish) has filmed the moment she passes a forkful of food to a small hand belonging to her son Rowan, which appears from a den made out of sofa cushions.

She told Newsweek: "The pillow can be washed. He just wanted to have fun with it and try something new! I wasn't going to let it ruin my day—instead, I let it brighten my day!

"He's a big personality and sometimes it's just better to embrace it."

Layered over the footage, the text says: "picking and choosing my battles today," which means she decided against arguing with her 4-year-old son.

As a rule, he usually eats at the table and tries everything on his plate, so on this occasion she was happy for him to have his own way.

She explained: "With two toddlers, the battles can be different by the day! They keep us on our toes.

"Some days are more tiring and therefore some battles just are not worth the fight. We are all just figuring it out!"

Meal times can be challenging at the best of times for parents with young children. Often, they may find themselves trying to use feeding strategies such as bribes or punishment but scientists have previously revealed this only makes the problem worse.

The Biggest Mistakes Parents Make With Picky Kids

A 2023 study conducted by researchers from Deakin University in Australia, published in the journal Appetite, involved a survey of over 1,500 mothers with children aged 2 to 5 years. The mothers completed a questionnaire regarding their children's eating habits and provided details on their techniques for addressing picky eating through open-ended questions.

The findings indicated that the technique of hiding vegetables in meals correlated with the highest levels of fussiness in children. However, this correlation does not necessarily imply causation; it might reflect that parents resort to this method after other strategies fail. While effective temporarily, hiding vegetables is not considered a long-term solution.

The most severe cases of fussiness were linked to strategies involving punishment or coercion, which may lead children to disregard their natural hunger cues and potentially exacerbate picky eating behaviors. Conversely, the least fussy children were those whose parents involved them more and allowed them to have a say.

What Do the Comments Say?

Fisher, who works in marketing and events, added: "Toddlers definitely need boundaries, however they also need to feel loved and heard (which isn't always easy).

"Set the rules, but don't be afraid to break them here and there because they need a chance to explore and grow."

At the time of writing, the video shared on April 12, has amassed almost 86,000 likes and more than 2,000 comments.

One user said: "My toddler will ride around on his bike in the house and come for a bite when I yell 'pit stop!' lol what ever works!"

"Yesterday I scattered bits [and] pieces of food on the floor of my son's playroom just to get him to eat. He wants nothing to do with eating off his plate but will gladly eat food he finds on the floor," said another.

A third commenter praised: "Toddler/young child is eating? Mama this is a WIN!!!"

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